Blue Bridges
by Scision
Summary: I’m glad you’re driving this time around, Remus. I can’t concentrate. Goes along with Orange Horizon. Not really a pairing, but very, very vague Sirius/Remus. AU.


**Disclaimer: I did own a cappuccino mousse cup, but my brother ate the last of it.**

_So this came out SHITLOADS longer than I intended. This was written to parallel _Orange Horizon_ but from Sirius's view, and centering around the color blue (in contrast to orange, its opposite and complement) and also with the same idea of death, post OotP. I also tried to get more of their personalities if you can catch it. Semi Remus/Sirius._

_I still like long car rides._

* * *

**Blue Bridges**

* * *

_Get your feet off the dashboard, _he'd mutter_._

_Come on, your toes are in front of the air conditioner, and makes the whole car smell like your disgusting feet, _he'd add_._

_Goddamnit, Sirius, _he'd say with a laugh_._

His dry lips fluttered weakly, in a struggle to form a smile.

_Oh, please say it again one more time. _

_Please._

The cold air ghosted out of the car vents and pinched between his bare toes. It felt refreshing compared to the little prisons that were his worn black shoes and rough white socks. Not that his socks mattered anyway, since they had so many holes now that they were made more of holes than actual thread.

_Our skin looks kind of blue in the dark._

Sirius never did understand why Remus drove late with both the air conditioning on at full blast and all the windows rolled down. Sirius felt overwhelmed by the rush of violent wind on all sides of him, like he was drowning. The sound rumbled in his ears, and shivers snaked up his spine and tickled his neck, but it felt nice. Perhaps Remus liked the feeling, too.

_I can't see the side view mirror, Sirius, you're blocking it._

It felt good to just ease back in the passenger seat at its lowest setting, or at least as low as it could go since Sirius had broken it the summer before from playing with the lever too many times. Let his feet sit comfortably on the dashboard, where the old coffee spill stain remained from when he'd stupidly left the beverage there during one of their regular drives, and for some reason, was never wiped off. Watch Remus's relaxed knuckles as he held the wheel, and trace, with his eyes, the shape and angles of his face, and sloping shoulders as he focused on the road, engulfed in indigo darkness.

_Calm down, there's no cars here except us._

Even over the loud whir of the air conditioning supported by the powerful winds cutting at his face, whipping threads of his fine hair in his waterless eyes, Sirius still heard himself sigh. It echoed, bouncing incessantly against the walls of his dulled, dark mind. He could barely watch the highway zoom toward him as they rolled on and on, black knots of forests lined in sapphire from the moonlight.

_I'm glad you're driving this time around, Remus. I can't concentrate._

At the speed they drove, it must have been seventy, eighty maybe, the blues and blacks merged. Every so often, they'd find themselves passing under a bridge that plunged them into darkness for a split second, until they emerged out of its shadows. He didn't even have time to blink. And the steel rails that bordered the other bridges they sailed over were blurry, reflecting light at him, the lines fuzzy but strangely sharp at the same time. Stars were careless jabs of cerulean paint, bleeding uncontrollably into the black sky. Sirius lost count of them.

_Yeah. Well, sometimes I can't either._

His eyes felt strained, and dizzy. However, seeing Remus so sedate at this time made him feel calm, too. But he didn't want to see him. He wanted to see everything else, the wrinkled folds in his shirt sleeves, the shining coins in the cup holder, the eerie light of thirteen minutes past two, or was it three? blinking at him, anything other than that quiet brunet in the dark next to him. But he was all he _could _look at it, no matter how hard he tried to avert his eyes. Remus was the only thing that made sense right now. The headlights illuminated the world in the windshield. There was a sign that Sirius couldn't read, and another bridge to cross.

He snickered feebly.

_You're a good driver, Rem. Always been._

Even though he knew Remus had steady control, he wanted to protect him a last time from something, only now he can't. He wanted to touch Remus's arm and feel him under his fingertips. Even with the chilly winds kissing, carving at their skin, Remus's skin would probably be warm. But at the same time, Sirius was scared that he wouldn't be able to feel it. Anymore.

_Well, thanks, I guess._

Sirius was always ready for everything, and unlike him, Remus was always ready for everything, but only on the outside. Sure he could keep himself going straight forward, and smart enough to not drive over the edge, but Sirius could tell it was mostly an act of composure, his insecurities and cowardice blanketed in the night.

_Yeah_.

And so this was one of those curious things. Sirius was ready… but wasn't ready to leave Remus like this. He could already see his shadowy world of paper coffee cups and holey socks and scribbled trees getting darker, and smaller, more obscured, as they began the journey over. Remus only kept his foot down, his wavy hair only just grazing the ceiling of the car, fingers still curled around the wheel. Did they twitch?

_He'll make it, I know he will.. Right?_

The seatbelt pressed against his waist felt loose. Time, even when lit, obviously didn't exist anymore. He could already see the threads of highway spinning away, the ends curling into places he wouldn't go. Sirius kept his lips still, hoping Remus might catch his reflection in the rear view mirror instead, from the corner of his eye at least. The night ride ends here for him, for now. At least Remus will make it past this one last bridge. Over the bridge. And over again.

Without him.


End file.
